All Grown Up

I have loved seeing you become the man you are now. I'm amazed at the things you do, the decisions you make, and boast about your wisdom. Its been a pleasure to watch you succeed and see failures push you to make something better of yourself. I've watched as you put medal upon medal on your wall, everything from best golfer to employee of the year and I am proud of you, son. But watching your heart get crushed makes me long for the time that you were young so I could make the pain go away with just a word.

I wish I could make you stay and never grow up but I've watched year after year as the puppy fat fades away and the youthful fantasies dwindle to be replaced with an edge of bitterness only life can give and I hate that life has robbed you of your dreams. I wish to still time, to beg it to not take you away from me.

I long for the days when the promise of ice cream was all it took to bring back your smile, when being rich consisted of having shs500 in your pocket, when another episode of scooby doo was all it took to make you forget the scolding you got earlier.

I long for the days, you could run around in your underwear and not have anything to be afraid of, when comic books and spider man costumes was what our hearts longed for and becoming a superhero was your life's ambition. In a way you are a hero, but you found , like most of us have, that sometimes you can't save yourself.

Now I must admit that you are a man and though I wish to hold you and kiss the pain away, hide you from the world a little a longer, I know I cannot ease your broken heart and I must let you make your own choices.

Selfish mother that I am, I must learn to let you go, to let you discover the thorns among the roses. I must let you love and be loved and if you get hurt again, to let you find your way like you always have. I must trust that you will be fine, that I raised you right. So I will let you grow up and I will be a mother to a man and not to a little boy.