Wednesday, 27 June 2007
Up until now, I thought our friendship was a guise of something deeper. Something I couldn't quite touch or see. It was something I could only feel. The fear of losing you, kept me from saying a thing. What if I was wrong? or perhaps worse still, if I was right. So I went on with this charade. The one where I was your closest confidante, your unquestionable ally and while I acted, I tried to pretend I don't miss you if I'm not with you, that I don't anxiously wait for the phone to ring or hope to catch a glimpse of you somewhere. But I got tired of pretending that I don't want to send you message because I only saw you a while ago. What does it matter, if I choose to enjoy your company? The truth is, I was afraid of falling in love with you, afraid that I was already in too deep: but now, I realise that I treasure what we have too much to ruin it by bringing cupid into the picture. I guess its easy to get romantic notions when two people are as close as you and I. But I've chosen to love you the best way I can. Perhaps not as a soul mate or your beloved, I've chosen to be the best friend I can be. Only then will I not have to pretend that I don't already miss you even when we met a few hours ago, because this time, it will be different. I really will be your amigo and not some besotted girl trying to pass off as your friend. There is that girl God's got for you and there's that guy God's got for me. As I wait for him, I pray that you too, wait for her.