Wednesday 27 June 2007

Amigo

Up until now, I thought our friendship was a guise of something deeper. Something I couldn't quite touch or see. It was something I could only feel. The fear of losing you, kept me from saying a thing. What if I was wrong? or perhaps worse still, if I was right. So I went on with this charade. The one where I was your closest confidante, your unquestionable ally and while I acted, I tried to pretend I don't miss you if I'm not with you, that I don't anxiously wait for the phone to ring or hope to catch a glimpse of you somewhere. But I got tired of pretending that I don't want to send you message because I only saw you a while ago. What does it matter, if I choose to enjoy your company? The truth is, I was afraid of falling in love with you, afraid that I was already in too deep: but now, I realise that I treasure what we have too much to ruin it by bringing cupid into the picture. I guess its easy to get romantic notions when two people are as close as you and I. But I've chosen to love you the best way I can. Perhaps not as a soul mate or your beloved, I've chosen to be the best friend I can be. Only then will I not have to pretend that I don't already miss you even when we met a few hours ago, because this time, it will be different. I really will be your amigo and not some besotted girl trying to pass off as your friend. There is that girl God's got for you and there's that guy God's got for me. As I wait for him, I pray that you too, wait for her.

19 comments:

  1. Firstie

    Now got to read the post

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  2. What if its him you are waiting for and you he is wait for? Do i make sense... But seriously it better cupid finds his own way without your direction... Nice post

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  3. So babes, why don't you wanna go the whole nine yards with this guy. From the sound of it, he looks cool, eh!?

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  4. I say if u find something u want, just go for it...that "gold" might be right in front of u, and u dont pay attention...or like u said, u "pretend"..till it's lost, u don't appreciate it
    I hope I'm not going off point here
    but go for it

    dat was so beautiful, I mean what u wrote

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  5. Aaawww Lord..that's just beautifull!!

    Then again,as Silent asks..what if it's him..are you trying to convince yourself otherwise??

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  6. hmmm.. interesting.. funny enough this relates very much to a friend of mine... but unlike you.. i havent gotten to that point yet.. where i have arrived at that conclusion

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  7. Truthfully,not everything I wrote is what is on the ground. The facts are, there is a girl and there is a guy who are really good friends and that there might be something else. the rest is part of a story. but what I can say is that u guys are right, he might be the one but i'm willing to wait for the right time. If he's the one God will make sure staff work out. Right now, I'm just waiting.

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  8. Prettylyf is right about it needing courage and revelation. especially the revelation part.

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  9. this is so well written and its beautiful!Girl since u guys have such a great friendship why dont u tell him how u feel?even if he doesnt feel d same way at least u know u were true to urself and in the future there wont be "what if"..pls i think u sud tell him!

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  10. I know u want to wait for God, but if u have to wait for 5yrs or more, u really want to do that...why not go for it now, and God will other ur steps...he'll back u up...life is short
    not trying to rush things here, hope u understand my point...I'm just saying don't wait too long till u lost that one thing u love, u know...

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  11. tiny little clues are left every where when you care about someone...and tiny little clues go a long way,in the long run. I'm all for treading lightly...but then again, who am I telling? You already know.

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  13. Mhh! i agree with all of them.Especially that you even came up with that kinda post.Go all the way and don't say you'll cross the bridge when you get to it.What if you never make it to the bridge? Girl? Ugo once said when God says yes no one can say no! So do what you gotta do!

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  14. but why don't you give it a try with him. You never know, he might be the one for you. Don't let such an apportunity pass you by

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  15. thanks for the advice gys but this is something i'm just going to wait out.

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  16. i feel you ma sister i really do, awww i think i conclude like you.... lets be pals even though i feel this wayy at times/

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