An Angel's journal

It was a busy day in Heaven today and though almost everyday, there are several missions God sends us to, today was extremely busy, and all over heaven we could hear the cry of saints all over the earth begging, crying and asking for one thing or another and although most of the people did not deserve any help at all, King Jesus, lost time in sending us their way to offer help or comfort where necessary whenever they asked.

The Lord had sent me to help a young lady in the delivery room for the first time, it wasn't easy trying to speak comfort and peace to her heart when she was filled with fear. She had given her life to Jesus ten years ago when she was nine and here she lay in a hospital bed, alone and afraid, trying to have her baby alone because the young "Christian" boy who had promised to marry her had decided she wasn't important anymore.

Broken she'd come before the Lord, feeling worthless. I wish she could see the love with which my Lord looks at her. He'd promised her she'd never be alone and there we were in the hospital room. One of the other angels began to sing, softly, that seemed to calm her fear, and when the baby was born, the song remained in her heart. The child was a girl and she was named melody. I couldn't help being pleased with myself. It was a job well done.

It was hardly over when I was on the move again, saving an old man from an accident as he crossed the road then Jesus sent me to hug a little boy who was lonely and often cried himself to sleep. I held him as he cried and stayed by him all night then left him to his guardian angel. That was how the day was spent; rushing from one mission to the next.

I was China with a very sick old lady, staying with her and waiting to meet her when she crossed over to meet our Lord, when suddenly, a pleasant sound, a wonderful harmony seemed to rise up from somewhere on earth, and for a minute everyone stopped what they were doing, I watched as angel after angel arose from their tasks, some grateful for a little distraction because they'd just been helping people who continued to look at he negative side of things no matter what God tried to do for them. We all arose to see where the wonderful, sound came from.

And there amidst all the tumult and noise, this young lad was raising his voice in praise and adoration. Don't get me wrong, lots of people praise, but when even one person does so in Spirit and in truth, the heartfelt worship, rises in heaven, I could feel joy rising up in me, everyone around me whooped and yelled, I joined the excitement, its not all the time that you get to hear such earnest worship. It's not that people don't worship. Many do, it's just that often times, it's a routine to them and some do so because they want to ask God for something. The sound that was filling up the Heavens was soooo beautiful. When you've had a day like mine, spent rescuing people, listening to people's complaints. There is something so wonderful, so refreshing, so divine, so marvellous about hearing just one soul declare his unfaltering, unwavering love for the Lord.

As everyone danced and made noise, I looked at Jesus, and they were tears running down His face, I walked towards Him and when I reached His side, He pointed to a paper that lay beside the man, He'd been diagnosed with cancer and given no more than three months to live. Then I understood why tears ran down his face, while so many of the saints below would most certainly have complained, he'd chosen to bless the Lord.

To love again

I've come to realise,
that the tears that fall from these eyes,
in this short span of life.
because of sadness,
sorrow and strife,
are well worth the pain,
If I could love again,
for tears cleanse the soul.
They give vent to things that need to go
and they make the body whole.
These are the little things i know
for love is well worth the pain,
and hate such an unnecessary strain,
for we were made to love,
so says the Lord above,
If it meant to love we must cry,
a happy soul I'd still die,
because for love, Christ gave,
In love, I was saved.

Angry

Angry at myself,

angry at you,

angry that despite the odds,

I still love you.

My Seven

This one's been long in coming. Sorry Betty. You tagged me earlier but the poetry always seemed to burst forth then. I don't know what you'd like to know.

• I love cartoons. Still hate it when I miss Sesame street on t.v. (I know it sounds childish but every one has a little kid inside, mine just comes out this way).
• I love words but i guess you know that already.
• I love milk. Something about it just relaxes me. (You can add that to childish trait no.2 but that's okay).
• I can hardly wait to get to heaven. There are lots of questions I'd like to ask God and then there are the several people I'd like to meet. Like Jesus(still don't know why He'd love someone like me),Paul, David, Thomas, Noah. Then I'd like to ask Jonah what it was like to be in the belly of a fish for three days and did he actually think he could run away from God? (Interesting question, considering that I've tried several times).
• I started sunday school in my backyard when we wouldn't go to church. I'd gather the neighbourhood kids and preach. I was six then. That kid disappeared for a while, she's only just coming back. Told you can 't run away from God for long.When you try to, you get swallowed by a fish. Ask Jonah.
• I find it extremely repulsive when people spit in public. It's bad enough when a guy does it, but when it's a lady, it's absolutely atrocious.
• I hate pornography and what it does to people especially my age. I want to help the youth my age overcome it. Want to get people to open up and stop struggling with it. Get help and move on. They don't have to be bound by it. So anyone need help, don't let shame or silence keep you in chains. "Shame can be defined as trying to hide what God's trying to uncover and heal"Archbishop Henry Orombi. Willing to help anyone who wants to let it go.

I guess that's it about me. I know am late but am going to tag prettylyf and scotchbiscuits anyway.

Emotions

Wrap their arms around you,
Some tender and sweet,
As you think on a loved one,
Some cruel and painful,
Those times when despair won,
Some of giddy excitement,
When you just have lots of fun,
Some of just peace and serenity,
When you blissfully watch the sun,
Then they’re those times…
When their intensity can’t be put to words.

I want mine to last forever

I can't help but wonder,
How two people meant to be together,
How two lives destined to be One,
How love so profound,
Could somehow dwindle to bitterness.
Was there never a time,
When the world was beautiful,
Because of this one person,
Was there never a time,
When the thought of that name,
brought an endless series of litanies,
within your heart.
Was there never a time,
when your water was wine,
Just because you shared it
with that person.
Whatever happened to the stolen kisses,
secret rendezvous, the love filled notes,
the endless chatter...
Call me a helpless romantic,
Call me a fool...
But I want mine to last forever!

JUST SO YOU COULD SMILE

The sun shone today,

did you notice?

The birds sung away,

Did you notice?

I did it so you could smile.

You woke up late,

I noticed,

But the lessons were great,

Did you notice?

I did it so you could smile.

Your day was dreary,

I noticed,

But tonight the sky's starry,

Did you notice?

I did it so you could smile.

Someone hurt you,

I noticed,

But i sent a friend right on cue.

Did you notice?

I did it so you could smile.

Familiar Strangers

Worlds apart,
You and I,
so close.
Yet so far,
so clear,
Yet so blurred,
right here,
and yet there,
so dear,
yet so cold,
You say nothng's changed,
It's all the same,
Why then, am i so lonely,
when I'm with you?!

The Real me

I was just looking for words to express how I felt today. This song by Natalie Grant says it all. It blesses me cause its a mirror of what I feel many times; like someone, hiding behind a veil.

Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I'm empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance
Living a Charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
And you love me just as I am
Wonderful, Beautiful is what you see
When you look at me

Ssssshhh, be quiet, God's at work

I spent the whole of yesterday crying. Not the usual, silent tears that come coursing down, I boo-hooed quite a bit. I had a fight with my dad yesterday and you know what God told me to do? He told me to go tell him sorry. I rebelled and got mad at Him as well. Why is it that when my dad makes me cry, I have to be the one to say sorry, why is it that when he gets me depressed, I still have to be obedient and humble. Needless, to say, I got into a fight with God as well. It just didn't seem fair. In those moments when I was crying and felt like my heart would break, I could still feel God was there. It was a change. Many times, I don't feel like He's there even when I know He is. I didn't feel so alone then although I spent the whole time railing at Him. But am glad He was there. There are not too many people would seat and listen as I spent hour upon hour complaining, grumbling and (who am I kidding) just shouting. But God was there. I remember what I read in a comic strip, 'church mouse', that God understands broken hearts cause we break His heart everyday. I'm feeling better. Although, I'm still bitter, but God will take care of that. Still feel lost and a little empty but I've learnt to treasure some of these moments because God's at work. God sometimes needs to disorganise our worlds so He can catch our attention. It's a whole twenty four hours later but I can still feel the tears at the surface. God, what would I do without You. Thank You, for loving me.

Thank You

The cut off points came out today. It seems like I haven't made it for law on government sponsorship not that I expected it but there's something about keeping hope alive that keeps you going on. My first reaction was remorse. I wanted to cry, felt like I'd failed and then I remember who You are and I know You've never yet failed me.

How many times, have I felt like my situation was the end of the world and found that You were only working things out in the background for my good. You see Your word says in Romans 8:28 that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.

So I know that You're going to use this for my good because Jeremiah 29:11 says that You alone know the plans You have for me, plans to bring me prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future I hope for. Your plans are to prosper me I believe and so however unclear my future looks like, I know that You have it in Your hands.

Numbers 23:19 says that You're not a man to lie, a human who changes His mind, whatever You promise You do, You speak and it is done. Right now I choose to thank You because I know You've already prepared my future for me. That some how You've given me a course and a University. That somehow You've already provided all my tuition fees. I thank You. I thank You. I thank You, praise and glorify You, Honour You, love You, exalt You. You alone are worthy.